Truth be told ...

Can I just tell you straight how my life has been for the past year? Firstly, I’ve got to say that my husband would not be in favor of me talking to my online friends about such matters. His pride gets the better of him at times. But that’s what I love about him. So, anyway, here we go. . . Being that my husband has a background in plumbing, construction, blue-collar work, he was given a “permanent” pink slip by his former boss the Friday before Labor Day holiday weekend last year. He helped to start this company from the ground up. He’s a very dedicated, hard worker, and prides himself on being able to take care of his family, and that of his family’s honor. Albeit, he would totally hate that I am venting this stuff all over “the world!” He doesn’t understand the benefits of the relationships that I have formed on the web, mostly due to Facebook, he wouldn’t even want to ~ it’s just not his style. Are you getting a clearer picture of what I’m trying to convey? It may be a bit fuzzy just yet.

Reasons, causes, all run through your mind. You know, “Why me?” “Why us?” “We are decent people, why did this happen?” Although, the handwriting was on the wall when we heard all the reports about the job market failing, the economy crashing all around us, especially in the housing industry, which includes the local blue-collar people too. Hey, that’s us!

Shouldda, wouldda, coulddas start to run through your mind too. Why didn’t I push him to leave his job when the job market was still flowing with life? He sure wanted to leave!! He was obviously unhappy with his employer, and would have benefited from either starting his own business or finding employment elsewhere. But, complacency takes hold. We get comfortable with our daily routines and obligations for the sake of our families’ needs, wants, needs, needs, wants … You get the picture.

So here we are, 11 months later and he hasn’t been offered a job (with benefits) yet. Interviews? Yes. Not as many as I would like for him to be going to in order to find a decent job. Now, I invest my thoughts on his age, health, credit rating, overall experience and knowledge. You know, the basic things that employers are reviewing. And I think he’s doing okay in these departments, except that he is reaching his mid-forties. And he has an extensive resume to boast. I wonder.

Through it all, he has been encouraging my photography business, and spurring me on. Watching the girls when I go on shoots with my clients. Watching the girls when I need quiet time to sit and go through my images, and then through the editing process. He’s my biggest fan! Man, doesn’t get much better than that.

So, here’s my ‘big picture’ thought pattern: Why does the US send it’s jobs overseas, or south of the border?! Why do Americans need everything to be so darn cheap all the time?! Why are we such in a hurry to get nowhere, fast? Why doesn’t the government encourage more jobs in our country, instead of elsewhere? Why aren’t we focusing more on the now of life, rather than rushing to get 10 years down the line? Why does it feel like the small percentage of upper class in our society is keeping thumbs on us? Weighing us down? These and other questions flow through me on a regular basis. Did you ever ask these questions yourself?

In my mind, a society built on mutual respect, accountability, and reverence for its fellow brothers and sisters is one that will thrive and grow in the positive; a general lifting up of its people has ideal, eclectic and utopian qualities. That’s the one I want to live in. It feels as though we are on a direct oppositional crash course to this dream society of mine. Or rather, it simply doesn’t exist.

I must also tell you that I am very proud of my guy. He’s an upstanding person. He’s definitely not perfect, far from it. But who is?! And, I don’t want you to feel that I am some sort of whiney chick who believes she’s “all that!” Because that ain’t the case! Included in these imperfections that I bestow, I am an eternal optimist at heart. I probably have too much confidence in people, in our society, in myself. I always believe in happy endings. This same optimism has gotten me into trouble in the past too. Sometimes it’s a blessing, and sometimes it’s a curse.

I am so thankful to be able to get this out in the “open.” Air it out. It certainly feels good. I will tell my husband that I have vented, or told, my side of the story. I’m sure you would get an entirely different story talking to him. But, oh yea, this is my blog, not his ;)

God bless, good friends,

Barb